


Mistaken Identity

by Awriterwrites, FallingLikeThis, freetheankles, indiaalphawhiskey, LadyLondonderry, lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Police Officer Louis, a fic born in group chat, butt tattoo?, not quite sex felon Harry, the case of the...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 07:08:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11800995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awriterwrites/pseuds/Awriterwrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingLikeThis/pseuds/FallingLikeThis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/freetheankles/pseuds/freetheankles, https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiaalphawhiskey/pseuds/indiaalphawhiskey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLondonderry/pseuds/LadyLondonderry, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: Here's what happens when there's a sexed up couple broken up in a park, a case of mistaken identity and a strip search gone wrong. Or right?





	Mistaken Identity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waytoomanypeopleintheaddisonlee (dinosaursmate)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaursmate/gifts).



> Sometimes what happens in group chat just needs to be shared! Happy Birthday KK! We love you!

**Liam:** _you guys my bus went past my local park just like 20 min ago and there were two people fucking right in the middle of the park_ _  
_ **Liam:** _on a sunday at 430 in the afternoon int he sun_ _  
_ **Liam** : _it was funny but at the same time there would've been kids there_  
 **Liam:** __they were definitely on drugs

**Niall:** _ Liam… You’re a police officer. Why didn’t u arrest them? _

**Liam:** _ …  _ _   
_ **Liam:** _ Shit. _

**Louis:** _Liam you idiot_  
 **Louis:** _This is literally the squad’s group chat_ **  
** **Louis:** _Why are you like this_

**Liam:** _ IM SORRY _

**Louis:** _ ...fine _ __   
**Louis:** _ I’ll meet you at the park _ **  
** **Louis:** __ Because apparently we’re going to have to do a stakeout or some shit because you forgot to do your own job

**Niall:** _ NICE. POLICE SHIT. _

**Nick:** _ You guys are so fucking unprofessional _

— 

The fact of the matter was, people on drugs having sex in a park generally weren’t in much of a hurry.

So when Louis got to the park - before Liam, who apparently was too nice to ask the bus to pull over so that he could get off and walk back - it was pretty easy to spot them.

He yelled something super cool and police-sounding like  _ “FREEZE!” _ which, of course, meant that they immediately attempted to make a run for it.

One of the two of them, a woman, clearly had it better off because all she had to do was smooth down her skirt before taking off through a gap in a hedge. The other one, face obscured by a mane of wild - if dirty - curls, was wearing trousers and wasn’t nearly so lucky, tripping over themself to pull the jeans up their legs as they ran.

Louis ran after them, around a row of low-hanging trees and through a hedge (which,  _ ouch) _ , wondering how someone who could barely get their pants up was managing to outpace him so fast.

It was just as he was thinking this over that something tripped him up and he found himself sprawled in the grass, having tripped over - a man?

A man with long brown curls and tight jeans - 

_ “FREEZE!” _ Louis shouted again, pulling out his badge. The man stared at him. He looked confused. It was probably the drugs.

— 

The ride to the station was short and mostly quiet. Except, of course, for the guy sitting in the back seat (Harry, he said) who kept  _ loudly _ protesting that it wasn’t him. Whatever.

When they made it back to a station, Louis dragged him into the single interrogation room (it was a small station) with the intent of getting his confession.

“Where the fuck is Liam,” he muttered to himself, motioning for Harry to take a seat while he dug out his phone and dialled Liam’s number.

_ “Hey Lou…” _ came the defeated sound of Liam’s voice a moment later through speakerphone. 

“Where are you?” Louis asked, glaring at Harry as if this was somehow his fault.

_ “I, um, just got to the park.” _

“What the fuck.”

_ “It’s not my fault! I had to run! It took a while!” _

“Well now I’m back at the  _ station, _ and I’ve got our guy here but he swears it’s not him. Got any distinguishing marks we can nail him with?”

_ “Shit, Lou, I dunno.” _ Louis thought maybe he should tell Liam he’s on speaker.  _ “He was naked! I didn’t see much besides arse!” _

“I’ve got a tattoo!” Harry spoke up behind him. “On my arse. He’d have seen it! I can show you!”

Louis hung up on Liam. Clearly the man was not going to help. “Well  _ I _ didn’t see the guy’s bum,” he clarified. “I saw his, um..." he gestured toward Harry's mid-section. "It was kind of... tiny, really."

Harry looked incredibly offended. "I'm not tiny, goddamn it!" He furiously started to unbutton his trousers, revealing hot pink briefs. 

Louis looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head as he stuttered, "I mean. Sure, if you say so..." He tried to plaster the most professional look on his face.

And Louis really should have been stopping him - he really, really should. But Random Sex Felon had run from him once already, and Louis would be damned if he managed to let him go now, damnit. (That's what he was going to write in the police report anyway.)

Harry had his pants down to his ankles, his face flushed, his breathing heavy, and he was hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear. Louis found himself frozen to the spot because he could already tell that Harry was in no way tiny. The furthest thing from it.

And Harry seemed to realize at that exact moment that Louis knew he was wrong. He noticed Louis' eyes widen and the burning flush crawling up his neck. Louis knew he did, because Harry, the arsehole, smirked - the satisfaction plain on his face. He leaned forward, resting his huge hands on either side of Louis' chair, dimple deep as he teased, "And here I thought the one in uniform was the one who was supposed to strip."

"I...um..." Louis watched as Harry's eyes crinkled and he hadn’t noticed before how green they were. Not just green, but a kind of spring color that's only found in nature. And, shit. He always had been a sucker for pretty eyes. "Depends on what you paid for, I guess," he whispered, watching as Harry's soft, wet, pink tongue slips out over his full bottom lip.

Harry arched an eyebrow, intrigued, and Louis gulped down a lungful of air, his heart rabbiting in his chest. Then, he heard a crackle. The tell-tale sound of his pocket radio.

"Officer Roman to Chief Tomlinson - we have apprehended the assailant in the park incident. I repeat, we have apprehended the assailant and are taking him to the station, over."

Louis' eyes widened in horror at his radio - though whether from embarrassment or the realization that there would no longer be any knickers dropping in this room, he didn't know. God, he could cry.

Harry backed away, taking his tiny briefs and not so tiny...whatever, with him. "To be continued?" 

His voice was low and silky and Louis wanted to bathe in it. "Yes?" He squeaked, knowing any sense of control he had was long gone. 

"Is it a question?" Harry remarked, pulling his jeans back on. 

"No! I mean...no. Yes. I--"

Harry smirked and walked toward him, pulling his t-shirt over his head. His curls were all over his head and his eyes sparkled. He leaned forward and whispered in Louis' ear, "Go get 'em tiger." Louis shivered at the feeling of those lips at his ear. What just happened? Harry walked toward the door and threw over his shoulder, "left ya somethin'."

Louis looked down and saw what looked like a phone number on a scrap of paper on his desk.

—

**Niall:** _ Well another day has seen justice done, good job boys _

**Louis:** _ You didnt even do anythign???? _

**Niall:** _OH AND GUYS LOUIS HAS A DATE_  
 **Niall:** _WITH NAKED GUY_

**Liam:** _ the fuck _

_ Nick has left the Group _

**Liam:** _ No one tels me anything _

_ Zayn has left the group _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!


End file.
